mural.

Everything turns cold and I expect to see my breath that is now slowing down along with the rest of me.  The walls turn from yellow to maroon to the dull color of sorrow.  And the paint brush is just out of reach.  I then see a mirage an begin to create a mural of lost civilizations. The creatures, far from human, dance around in a peculiar way that seems forced until their lines are burned or cut and their dance turns into a dark frenzy. They turn into shadows and all I hear are screams of despair.  Then the mural shatters like glass and the pieces cut into my skin as they fall.  I bleed ruby and black.

music.

Escape from the bleak world that she lives in, music surrounds her like a waterfall, consuming every last bit of her being.  Her heart beats along with the ever changing rhythms and she is free.  Free from the cruelty, the judgement, the hatred.  Only in sync with however the beats play out, her world is only hers.

the artist.

The artist's paint brush glides across the blank canvas. His energy and inner emotions spill out effortlessly. For once, he feels like he has a purpose and his world is at peace. Everything that he longed to say would now be said, without words yet just as clear. For the few minutes that it takes him to finish his masterpiece, his life has meaning and his thoughts go silent.

untitled.

This is the start of my soon to be book/short story.  I've kind of hit a creative block but I'd love to get everyone's input! Here goes:

Sadness gripped him with it's two rough hands and shook him about.  Zoran lie awake staring out at the dark sky wishing that some stars would appear so he would have something to preoccupy himself with.  Yet the sky remained a hopeless abyss and reflected, precisely, how he felt inside.  The trees silently swayed in the cool breeze while bats flew about, skillfully gliding through the branches.  How he longed to be one of them.  Slowly, he got out of bed and slid his feet silently into his fuzzy indigo slippers.  He admired his feet for a moment, then stood up and crept over to the door.  The floor creaked underneath him, screaming at him as if it somehow knew the boy shouldn't be out of bed.  He paused, listened for any hint of movement, then continued on.  He made his way through the hallway into the kitchen.  Shadows of the trees from outside littered the floor and walls of the room giving off an eerie vibe.  The boy gave an involuntary shudder as the moonlight illuminated random parts of the kitchen.  His eyes were drawn to the shimmering sink faucet that leaked miniscule drops of water.  He tip-toed over to it and turned the squeaky knob until the leaking ceased.  He stood still and stared out of the window until his temptation grew too strong.  He slid the back door open and stepped out into the night air.  He felt the rush of the cool breeze on his skin and his dark hair blew into his eyes.  He brushed it to the side and made his way across the field.  His slippers grew damp as he got farther away from his house but he didn't really mind.  His eyes were set on the enchanting forest that lay ahead of him.  Shadows of unidentifiable creatures moved about the scene and intrigued Zoran.  He had never snuck out of his house before and he wasn't sure it was the best decision.  But he knew that staying inside his room would soon drive him crazy.  Every day in there was a constant reminder of his inferior position, for he was neither brilliant, incredibly talented, or wonderful with people.  In fact, he had never had many friends.  People had seemed far too challenging and, frankly, annoying.  Nevertheless, he felt lonely every so often.  No matter how many books he buried himself in, he could never quite fill the emptiness that ate away at his chest.  It seemed that nothing could or would ever fix it.  Countless times he had thought the hole would somehow patch itself up enough to allow him to be happy again.  He was proven wrong.  Time would definitely not help him heal.  But that made him wonder: What would?  Lost in his thoughts, he had not realized that he had walked into the forest so far that he could barely see his house.  Zoran rarely ever called his house home.  He hadn't considered his house a home, or what a home ought to be, in a long time.  Home meant a place that provided comfort, belonging, and above all, contentment.  His house was far from that description.  Every day he was bombarded with memories of Adar and he couldn't help but feel melancholy.  For years after his brother had disappeared, Zoran would wake up in the middle of the night screaming, crying, and shaking uncontrollably.  It drove him crazy that he didn't know what had become of his brother or even if he was still alive.  But the worst of it all was that the last thing he could remember was that they had been fighting the morning he had vanished.  Zoran was upset at Adar for something insignificant that he really couldn't remember anymore.  All he knew was that he would give anything to apologize to Adar and say a proper goodbye.  He soon felt a more than familiar lump form in his throat and tears stung his eyes.  He fought them back as he usually did and preoccupied himself with a peculiar looking track in the ground.  It had to have come from a gigantic animal considering the track was three times the size of Zoran's foot.  He observed the odd shape of it.  It was in the shape of a rounded square with two pointed toes, both of which were great in size.  But what was the most unusual of all was that there were only three tracks.  Zoran considered that the animal could have climbed up a tree, but no trees were close enough for that to have been possible.  So he was led to the realization that the animal must have flown away.  What kind of animal was this?  He pondered for a moment, not knowing if he should continue on in the forest.  But despite the slight warning that went off in his head, he proceeded.  He stepped over fallen branches and dodged thorny bushes as the ground underneath his feet squished.  He grimaced when his slipper dug into a pile of mud and his foot slipped out and landed on a pile of wet leaves.  He went barefoot from then on.  He didn't know where he was going or what he was going to find there but his house was long gone and he found that oddly comforting.  The hole inside his chest was beginning to throb less and less as he walked farther and farther.  The scent of wet grass and upcoming winter filled up his senses until he thought no more.  The sound of the wind echoed through his mind.  

carousel.

She unlocked her drawer and pulled out the old carousel trinket her mother had given her years ago when she was but four years old.  She slowly placed it on her mahogany table and blew the dust off.  It swirled around for a moment, then vanished, never to be seen again.  She winded it up and watched in wonder as the horse went up and down, slowly rocking back and forth, and the music that had so often filled the nights of her childhood entranced her once again.  The gentle beat gave the girl a sudden blast of cold nostalgia.  Vivid memories of her innocent childhood clashed with her more recent ones and even overtook them for a moment.  Something about the music pierced her like a dagger straight through her stomach and she could not help but feel slightly haunted.  She couldn't explain what it was.  Her mind then went blank as she stood, her gaze fixated on the rotating representation of her lost childhood.  A single tear fell from her eyes as the carousel haulted.

flower.

The neglected flower wilts more and more every day.  It's size intereferes with its oppurtunities for sunlight and warmth and it is left behind in the cold shadow of the neighboring trees.  Vibrant petals morph into ugly brown reminders of lost hope.  All potential ceases to exist.  As the process continues, the flower stands out from the colorful plants around it.  Once the last petal turns brown and falls, the flower is no more and it collapses into the dirt, finally seeming to belong.

war.

Gunshots echo through his hollow heart as he feels nothing but the vibrations through his ears.  Sudden movements cause him no fear for anyone, including himself.  He wonders why he is even fighting.  Perhaps he still, somewhere enclosed in his emptiness, has hope. Perhaps he doesn't know what to do anymore. The smoke continues to spread through the open field while the ground is littered with cold, lifeless bodies. He feels a mixture of pity and jealousy as he sees the light leave the eyes of a man, knowing somewhere, someone would soon weep.

rain.

The once thick, white clouds hang threateningly above the already damp plant life.  They spread through the sky like a spilled drink and cast their melancholy presence throughout.  The trees stand still, almost scared to move, in fear of coming to reality.  Yet, too soon, the trees lose their minds in the torturous, cold silence.  They wildly thrash against the calm air.   The uproar is too much for the traumatized clouds and they weep.  Sadness mixes with anger and fury as deafening cracks of thunder fill the air.  Lightning flashes throughout the chaos as the clouds take their revenge on anyone and everyone.  But soon enough, the violence ceases and all that is left are the pathetic sobs that come from above.  Little by little the cries fade and everything is still once more as the sun attemts to dry the tears, as it so often does, never quite succeeding.

open window.

My nerves relax as the soft blankets enfold me in their accepting warmth.  The crickets chirp in their own kind of beautifully off key orchestra.  My heart beats as their metronome and the soft wind whispers lullibies to me in perfect harmony.  I close my eyes and I am suddenly soaring through what I call mine for the night.  The black sky contrasts perfectly with the abnormally large moon.  I wonder if it is usually this big.  The darkness is no match for my suddenly improved night vision.  The leaves on the trees sway in different directions creating a pleasing sea of trees.  I dip down closer.  The sweet scent of grass absorbs me and I unknowingly slow down to take it in.  I hover above the tallest tree in the forest and sense its contagious charisma.  I rest.  I tilt my head up towards the sky and observe the breathtaking view.  Thousands of stars flash in tandem with the fireflies.  I am sure they are smiling at me with acceptance.  I am taken away by the happiness that washes over me.  I never knew bliss could take a shape so strong.  And as I reach my peak, my eyes open.  I realize that my time in the eye of the hurricane has passed and I am harshly forced back into reality.  I smile feebly and I get out of bed.

"Reality is a lovely place but I wouldn't want to live there." -Adam Young

people.

So.  People.  One person just drank my soda.  My special soda that I brought up for myself.  I even offered to bring another drink for that certain person.  But said person did not jump at the chance. 

But whatever.  Now that I am done with that short rant, let's start another one.  As I have earlier stated, I am not a people person.  I'm not saying all people are bad, but most of them tend to annoy me.  Examples:

1. People who don't care about anyone but themselves.

2. People who don't try new things.

3. People who don't know when enough is enough.

4. People who always need to be the victim.

5. People who always have to be the center of attention.

6. Liars.

7. Cheaters.

8. People who steal other peoples special soda. (You know who you are.)

9. Stupid people.

10. Smart people. Like overly smart people where when they start talking you wish they had never started because you know they are the cause of your sudden pulsing headache.

11. Boring people.

12. Fakers. The people who fake stuff for attention.

13. People who won't shut up.

14. People who won't make eye contact.  They seem sketchy.

15. People who think they are better than everybody.

And that's just the beginning of the list.  And because I don't know what to say to end this post I will say SKADOOOOOOSH(:  

trust.

I have learned that trust builds itself upon pillars of glass.  Forming it is a difficult and tedious process but breaking it, well that's a different story.  One blow with a strong enough hammer shatters the foundation, in turn causing all the hard work to come crashing down.  Sad isn't it? 

All I am trying to say in this post is that trust is important.  Build it(:

mornings.

I find that waking up in the morning is a lot easier when you're with someone.  This someone being my best friend(: 


You know that nauseous feeling you sometimes get when you wake up after a less than sufficient amount of sleep?  I feel that sometimes is replaced with always in my case.  Ugh.  But after a nice shower, loads of make-up, and a cup of coffee (more like a cup of sugar and milk) I am as awake as I can possibly be at 6 in the morning.  


So I sit here, sipping my cup of coffee ("like a writer!" as my best friend says) and many things go through my mind as I try to plan out how my day is going to go.  Usually, I try to be as positive as I can about the days activities and what-not.  But, seeing that I am truly a negative person, this can sometimes be, well, difficult.  However, I put on a smile and try not to show how annoyed, worried, skeptical I really am.  


And now I see that my coffee is almost gone and my best friend is getting impatient so I bid you all farewell and a great morning(:

me.

So.  First post.  At first I thought I should post one of my lengthy, deep, emotional, dramatic, however you want to put it, stories.  But then I decided against it.  So my first post will simply be an "about me" type thing.  Here goes:


Me- Being completely honest, I am not a people person.  Basically, I am kind of an introvert.  I like being alone a little more often than the normal person.  Usually, I take my alone time, however much I can get, and use it to think, write, or draw.  Maybe all three.  Now, don't get me wrong.  I love spending time with people.  People I love of course.  I hate war.  Frankly, I don't understand it at all.  I say everyone should get along with everyone.  Childish and improbable request I know.  I can't stand people who don't appreciate the little things in life.  Like good weather or when the lid of your pudding comes off in one try.  I've learned that enjoying random things like that can make you an overall happier person. 


That's all that I can really think of right now.  So that was the short version of what I am all about(: